Struggles of Youth

My friend is 25 and he was telling me that he feels a sense of paralysis about his future. He has interests, but no obvious passion. At least not one that is so pronounced that he’s willing to bet his future on it. He doesn’t have extra money. He hears all this talk of ‘do what you love’ and thinks ‘how nice, I like a lot of things. But what do I love?’
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It seems like a hundred years ago, if your dad was a farmer, you were a farmer. The future was about achieving markers: job, marriage, kids. There was less flexibility, less choice. But there was more clarity. This rigidity tortured people, and led to the sixties and the deconstructionist mindset we’re in as a culture.
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But right now, in our twenties, many of us experience a paralysis of choice. We’re told as kids that we can be whoever and whatever we want. That gives the future a bigness and it seems like it all belongs to us. But as we get older, we make choices. We choose this school, this major, this job. Sometimes the choice feels thrust upon us. And the curse of choice is that by walking through one door, you reject a hundred others. That means the gain of 1 is the loss of 100. That loss-aversion causes us to feel stuck. Frozen. We’re meant to find our true selves, our passion, or life’s work.. and for the lucky some it comes down from heaven on tablets. For others, it is guesswork. It is testing.
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And we think we’re some static mystery that has one passion. We think life is one big mountain climb. But in reality the choice of 1 is not the loss of a 100. It’s not so binary or stiff. Life is a thousand hills, a collection of seasons. Each one is allowed its own passion, lesson, and skill. All adding up to a big quilted you.
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I think growing up is like a stroll through home depot. We know we want to build a house. We don’t know how, and we don’t even know what style. You can’t just suddenly have a house. You have to build it. And you need tools. And to talk to some experts. So this job, that internship, that free-lance whatever.. it’s a tool, and I bet you’ll need it sooner than later as you build.

phillipcrosby

Unrequited Love

I have decided to take this unrequited love, and quietly put it away in corner of my heart as a bittersweet part of my youth.

Screaming

When we are young, thunderstorms seems scary. Like sky is angry at you. But now that I am old, something about its roar sooth me; its comforting to know that even nature needs to scream sometimes.

Bloom in silence

The strongest ones bleed in silence. They have no one applauding their growth. They have no one watching their healing process. They bloom in silence.

Truth About Life

Sometimes, our hearts hurt more than we reveal.
Sometimes, our smiles lack the feelings in which we conceal.
Sometimes, what we hide is who we are.
And sometimes, where we are supposed to be is not very far.
But who we are is what we show because to the world, that is what we bestow.
It’s like a rainy day in the month  of May – unwanted, but expected; vulnerable, but protected.
We walk on the edge in hopes of not falling. But if we do, we know it’s our calling.
As laughter sweeps the lives of many, tears embody the hearts of plenty.
Fill our lives with hopes and joys, dreaming of maintaining one’s poise.
We strive to be who we want to be, but it’s affected by that of which people see.
Truth unfolds in the lies of some, while lies unfold of what some become.
Whatever life brings, the heart should be what always sings.
No more echoes from those around you,
time to learn from all you’ve been through – a love once loved, or a hurt you forever have shoved.
A lesson comes with each mistake, and a lesson comes with each compliment.
Always be real and never fake. Never hide a moment, and in each moment, take a breath.
If you must, let the tears fall. If you must, punch down each and every wall.
Life is a path in which each must take. Which ones you choose is a choice you must make.

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