My friend is 25 and he was telling me that he feels a sense of paralysis about his future. He has interests, but no obvious passion. At least not one that is so pronounced that he’s willing to bet his future on it. He doesn’t have extra money. He hears all this talk of ‘do what you love’ and thinks ‘how nice, I like a lot of things. But what do I love?’
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It seems like a hundred years ago, if your dad was a farmer, you were a farmer. The future was about achieving markers: job, marriage, kids. There was less flexibility, less choice. But there was more clarity. This rigidity tortured people, and led to the sixties and the deconstructionist mindset we’re in as a culture.
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But right now, in our twenties, many of us experience a paralysis of choice. We’re told as kids that we can be whoever and whatever we want. That gives the future a bigness and it seems like it all belongs to us. But as we get older, we make choices. We choose this school, this major, this job. Sometimes the choice feels thrust upon us. And the curse of choice is that by walking through one door, you reject a hundred others. That means the gain of 1 is the loss of 100. That loss-aversion causes us to feel stuck. Frozen. We’re meant to find our true selves, our passion, or life’s work.. and for the lucky some it comes down from heaven on tablets. For others, it is guesswork. It is testing.
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And we think we’re some static mystery that has one passion. We think life is one big mountain climb. But in reality the choice of 1 is not the loss of a 100. It’s not so binary or stiff. Life is a thousand hills, a collection of seasons. Each one is allowed its own passion, lesson, and skill. All adding up to a big quilted you.
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I think growing up is like a stroll through home depot. We know we want to build a house. We don’t know how, and we don’t even know what style. You can’t just suddenly have a house. You have to build it. And you need tools. And to talk to some experts. So this job, that internship, that free-lance whatever.. it’s a tool, and I bet you’ll need it sooner than later as you build.
phillipcrosby
panaache 